Online Dating: Shop Till You Drop!

So I have come to the conclusion that online dating is a lot like shopping.  And, how we act as consumers plays a huge role in how we now date.  For Instance, we recognize a need to have someone meaningful in our life, we then go out and gather different information on our options and then compare the different alternatives.  The process of online dating is merely the process of pushing a shopping cart down different isle.  The internet now allows us to have access to a number of different alternatives.  Which in my opinion would be very overwhelming, but people are shifting toward becoming more knowledgeable consumers and want to have all the information they can, in order to make the best decision.

-Dana

Translating Online Dating Profiles

Here's a funny video on how to translate online dating profiles and find out what they are REALLY saying.  Obviously this video is purely for entertainment purposes but the main point of the video is that anyone can basically say anything.  It's important to keep in mind that people want to look good, and are likely to fib a little bit here and there.  That's the beauty of communicating online, people can basically play different roles and be whom ever they want to be.  I think that's what scares me the most about online dating services!!!

-Dana

The Little Couple and Their Online Dating Story

Apparently TLC's, The Little Couple met online on a dating service.  Click on this link to watch their video which explains the whole process on how they met. VIDEO.


After seeing this video my perceptions of online dating had changed a bit.  For little people, it is probably a struggle to find someone you're compatible and with dating services it makes that process a little bit more easier to find someone.  The Little Couple, Jen and Matt met on a site for little people.  They instantly connected and are now happily married.  This couple strongly supports online dating, and prove that it can be an effective way to meet someone.

-Dana

Interesting Statistics on Online Dating

I read an article today on Dating Statistics by John Sharp which covers some interesting facts about online dating and people around the world.  Some of these stats include:

• Online Dating Usage: 140 million from China, 40 million from US, and 15 million from India
• More Popular Service: E-Harmony has over 20 million users, and Match.com has over 15 million 
• Facts about E-Harmony:  Members must fill out 400 question survey
• Break Down of Users: 52.4% Male, and 47.6% Female, the average visit per site time is approx. 22 minutes
• The Online Dating Industry is worth approx 1.049 billion per year and expected to be 1.3 billion in 2013
• Customers of Online Dating spend on average 239$ per year
• 1 in 10 users are scammers, and 1 in 10 users leave the site within the first 3 months
• In America, men lie most about: Age, Height, and Income
• In America, Women lie most about: Weight, Physical Build, and Age
• Average length of courtship for marriages: Met online- 18.5 months, Met offline- 42 months
• 1 out of 10 sex offenders use online dating to meet people

I thought these were some really interesting facts about online dating, and from based on what I have researched a lot of it seems to be pretty accurate.  Especially the point about the average length of courtship.  It seems that a lot of people that meet online get really serious fast.  I wonder what the reasoning behind that is!

-Dana

The Stigma of Online Dating- It Is Still There!

Before beginning our online dating experience, both Josh and I were aware of the stigma that is associated with meeting people online.  However, we thought if we were more educated on the topic then our perceptions might change.  I know for me, mine didn't change and I still can't get my head around it and not think about the stigma that it has.

But for those of you that enjoy the online dating experience there is hope!  According to an article Online Dating Stigma- Is it Gone? the stigma of online dating is starting to disappear over the years. Celebrities such as Dr. Phil, Charlie Sheen, Joan Rivers, and Halle Berry have been known to check out online dating services.  From learnings from my Consumer Behaviour class, individuals are likely to accept certain products and services more if there are celebrities endorsing it.  So perhaps this will be a growing trend and people will develop more acceptance toward online dating services.

-Dana

The Future of Online Dating

The growing trend toward online dating has proved to be very profitable for many businesses.  Therefore, these types of businesses want to uphold a good reputation and are becoming very professionalized.  There is also a prediction that online dating will be eventually taken over through mobile use.  

The consumers are in control, and everyone is all about convenience these days so it is very critical that online dating companies make this shift.  Furthermore, people are starting to consider social media outlets such as Facebook, and Myspace as dating sites as well.  This fact may end up hurting online dating companies in the future, as Facebook and Myspace can now provide similar services without the attached stigma.  

Where do you guys see online dating in the next 5-10 years?

-Dana

When Do You Stop Chatting Online

So say you meeting someone online, and begin to go on a few dates.  When do you decide to cancel you online dating account?  Is it ok to go on dates with one person and then still go home and talk to other people online?  Or do you date multiple people at a time until you become serious with just one.

I guess it completely depends on the individual, and I think if someone plans to date a few people at once, they should bring this up with their dates.  I think being honest is a crucial factor in online dating.  You have to be able to trust people.

What do you guys think?  Do you think it is ok to date multiple people at a time?

-Dana

Who Do You Want to Attract?

One thing that I have learned from my online dating experience is that at some point you need to take some time to evaluate:

• Who you are right now
• Where see yourself in the next few years
• What type of person you need that will fit into your current and future life objectives.

Like I have said in previous posts, there are so many people on online dating sites.  Therefore, it is crucial that you have a few basic questions about yourself figured out.  This way you can start to filter out the people that wont fit well into your life.

Many dating advice experts suggest that people create a list of criteria that a certain person must fulfill.  This criteria involves three components:

• Essential criteria:  Anything that is a must, like religion or family beliefs
• Criteria that you prefer: Such as hair colour, or athletic attributes
• Criteria that does not matter: Anything that you don't have a preference to.

With this criteria in mind, you can then evaluate the individual first using the essential criteria.   If they don't meet those standards then you should move on to the next, and so on.  Doing this ensures that you remain mindful of the things you want, and inadvertantely will be more successful in finding someone that you are truely compatible with.

-Dana

Dealing with Online Rejection

One topic that hasn't been covered so far in our blog is the dreaded "Rejection". Nobody ever likes being rejected or disapproved of by anyone, but no one ever said by using online dating services that you were going to have 100% success with the opposite sex. Sooner or later, everyone gets a kick in the stomach and it's an awful feeling.

If you keep getting rejected maybe it's time to consider a change in a) your profile and b) the personality types you're currently going for. When it comes to your profile be specific about who you are and make sure you get your personality across. When deciding on who might be right for you, make sure you can get a sense of their personality from their profile. Lastly make sure never to lie about who you are, or what you look like. Believe in yourself, be confident (not cocky) and you'll come across more attractive to people. Never give up, be patient and one day you'll find your special someone.

-Josh

Online Dating Cliche Translator

This article by Cracked.com talks about several common descriptive things that are often found in peoples profiles and give their "translation" of what they actually mean. The translations are pretty funny and from my experiences a lot are accurate. For example when someone says "I'm new to this whole online dating thing" the translation is - "No, I'm not". The majority of the time from what I've seen, people saying they're are new to online dating, means they have in the past and are actually just returning back to online dating in another attempt to find someone.

The funniest one that you should try to avoid is "I'm looking for that spark"... Translation - "I'm looking for a man who's 6'4", makes six figures, has a chiseled jaw and washboard abs, is a hopeless romantic, has a great sense of humour and makes me laugh every day, is intelligent and well-read, loves to travel, will buy me flowers and open doors for me, is sensitive and emotionally available, loves kids, loves pets volunteers, for charities, is a handyman, is great in bed, shares my political beliefs, shares my faith, matches my astrological sign, will not be afraid to tell me he loves me, gets along with my family, will worship me, will spoon me, will always understand me... and actually exists". WOW!!! Good luck.

It's funny, but is their truth behind the translations? you decide.

-Josh

Best 10 Date Movies of the Last Decade

Ever done a home movie date with your significant other and wondered what movies you should watch? Well I've been looking at a lot of "top 10 best date movies" lists and have chosen this one to show you from Good News Weekly.

10. The Wedding Planner is a feel good date movie. Starring Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Lopez.

9. Casino Royal is one of my favourite James Bond movies of all time and won't put you or your partner to sleep.

8. Avatar is the biggest box office hit of all-time and gives more then enough action/fantasy/adventure to make it a date to remember.

7. 50 First Dates a love story comedy with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore, can you say perfect combo for a great night.

6. Hitch this one is doctor recommended. Will Smith and Kevin James were great and the movie keeps you laughing/smiling most of the time.

5. Along Came Polly, I haven't seen it yet but my next movie date will definitely be this one because it looks good from the trailer I just watched.

4. The Notebook, okay raise your hand if you've seen The Notebook. Now put down your hand if you hated it. Okay guys, all the girls hands are still up, so make her happy and watch it. It's a tear jerker, but will likely go down as one of the best love stories of all time.

3. 500 Days of Summer we're on to the top 3 and we kick it off with an excellent romantic comedy. Joseph Gordon-Levitt does a fantastic job portraying his character and it's overall a great movie.

2. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind I know, you see that it stars Jim Carry and you're thinking "theirs no way this can be good, he can only do comedies. Well my friends, give this movie a watch and I guarantee you'll be pleasantly surprised.

1. Stardust as Good News Weekly says and I agree. "The absolute best date movie of the 2000's. Stardust mixes, action, adventure, fantasy, comedy, and romance into a masterpiece of a movie."

Hope this top 10 list makes your movie date night extra special and let me know your favourites if they differ from this list.

-Josh

Barrie Beer Buddy Keeping Your Date Smooth

Many of our fellow classmates have been doing their own blogs and I'd like to recommend anyone needing tips when it comes to Beer visit Barrie Beer Buddy. Some of the things you can learn from them are: how to pour the perfect pint for your date, what the best deals are on beer this week, and which are peoples favourite brands. This way you can save money by getting a certain brand well it's on sale, make sure you have the right kind, and impress your date by pouring the perfect pint for her. After all what woman doesn't love a nice cold pint of beer?

-Josh

Josh's Plenty Of Fish Review

At the start of our blog, Dana and I talked about different online dating services available and both of us came to the same conclusion that Plenty of Fish (POF) was our favourite to use. It was user-friendly, had a familiar feel (reminded us of Facebook) and it was very popular with a large amount of users online at what seemed all hours of the day. However after using POF for almost three months, my opinion of it has changed and I'll explain why. The simplicity of the service itself and ease of which it takes to sign-up and use, is still excellent compared to other online dating sites like eHarmony. However this also comes with some negatives aspects such as anyone can easily make an account in seconds, and it seems less people on POF are actually seriously looking for more then "intimate encounter", even if they state they are "looking for a relationship." Additionally people are a lot more crude and disrespectful from the 200 encounters with people I had over POF compared to any other dating service.
I'm guessing the long set up stages of other dating sites deter people who are just wanting a "booty call" or just are using the services to get their "kicks". I've recently closed my POF account, although I did get to go out on some great dates and meet some awesome people. The amount of spam messages in my inbox or rude messages you receive after declining a "chat session" really was unappealing to me.
I'm sure a lot of other people really enjoy their time on POF, but personally it wasn't for me.

Anyone else have a similar experience? or was it just a case of bad luck?

-Josh

Think Your Date Was Bad?

We've all had bad dates, and I just learned you can now post about your date at WORST ONLINE DATE. If you're bored and have some free time on your hands I recommend going to this site and reading about some of the dates other people have had. I personally thought the time I went out with this girl and she spent two hours complaining about her ex was bad, but after reading some of the stories posted here. I won't be complaining about having a bad date, because mine doesn't compare to some of the ones I've read. Enjoy!

-Josh

Online Dating Stories Revealed!

I recently ran across this website where people can post their experiences on online dates on this site to share with others.  This site on online dating stories reveals the real life truth about dating people from the internet.  Most of the stories are based on bad experiences, and some of them are pretty entertaining to read.


It may help to have a look through this site before you plan on going on a date with your internet friend.  Some of the stories may help prepare you for what to expect. And, it is always nice to be prepared and not caught off guard.  Also remember to be safe, and to use your head.  I read one story of this girl who went as far as purchasing an airplane ticket to visit her internet friend only to find out that he had been lying about himself the whole time.  In the end, she was ok and nothing bad happened to her but you never know.  I just thought it was kind of risky to travel to another country to meet a complete stranger.

So have a look at some of the stories in the link above, and see what other people have to say about their online dating experiences.

-Dana

Online Dating Isn't For You?

Okay, you've tried online dating services and it isn't for you. Don't worry it's not for everyone, so here are a few awesome places to meet new people.

Health Classes: You get to not online focus on taking care of yourself through participating in fitness classes like yoga, kickboxing, CrossFit, etc... but you're interacting with other individuals who share your passion to stay in shape.

Charity Fundraisers: As I've experienced, going to a charity fundraiser for a great cause like the SPCA is an awesome place to meet new people. You're both there for a similar interest, the atmosphere is warm and friendly, and you get to support a great cause.

Special Interest Classes: Singles often tend to attend special interest classes like dance instruction, cooking, art, and message often. It's also a great way to learn new things, have a good time and possibly meet that special someone.

Of course theirs always more random encounters through libraries, book stores, coffee shops, art galleries, church, etc... so don't give up, be patient and eventually you'll find that special someone.

-Josh

How To Dress To Impress Your Date

Have you ever gone out to a restaurant looked around and thought "oh crap, I'm under/over dressed". If so, you've failed step one of "How to Dress to Impress Your Date".

Step 1: Make sure you know where you're going with your date, so you know how to dress for the occasion. If you're going somewhere formal obviously a suit is a great idea, but for less fancy dates, a button-up shirt or polo with a nice pair of slacks or jeans is your best bet. Just be sure your clothes are clean and they don't have rips in them. If you can't even dress yourself properly for one date, she's going to think your a child who she'd have to treat as a baby instead of a man, which she is looking for.

Step 2: A lot of women freak out about what shoes they're going to wear, so you can bet they're going to notice yours. Make sure; a) the shoes match with your outfit b) they don't have holes c) that they're clean and d) most importantly make sure they don't smell terrible.

Step 3: Shower, shave, and spend some time on your hair. You know the girl is going to be looking her best, so you need to step your game up. If you're not clean shaven, at least trim up the beard and make yourself look presentable. Don't over load the hair gel, but make sure you don't have "bed head" and of course shower. Their is no excuse for bad body odour, and it'll ruin any chance for another date.

Step 4: Finally, it's common sense but make sure to brush your teeth and having a couple mints around for after your meal is always a great idea. It'll also go a long way if you end up getting a goodnight kiss.

Follow these steps and you've improved your chances dramatically of having a good date and impressing your girl.

-Josh

Do Guys Always Pay For The First Date?

You've met each other online, decided to meet up and have gone out for your "first date". Now comes the moment where their seems to be uncertainty; "who picks up the bill?". Does the guy automatically pick up the tab? Is their some kind've rule that says you should go dutch (split it), or does the girl pay?

Okay, well their isn't any written rule about who has to pay for the cheque. Usually I hear a lot of people say "whoever initiated the date should be the one to pay". The other answer you'll hear the majority of the time, is the guy should always pay.

According to a poll on MensFitness asking men "Do you pay on the first date?"

80% - Yes, Always!

7% - Yes, only if it's going well.

5% - I go Dutch (Split it).

5% - No.

4% Whoever asks, pays.

If you follow this poll, the man should be the one picking up the tab regardless of who initiated the date. Personally I always pick up the cheque whether the date was great, or not so much. The fact is on a first date with someone you've met through an online dating service, you're not paying huge amounts of money to go to the "Starlight Room". Most likely you're grabbing drinks or doing a lunch date, so the bill won't be that much. So I recommend being a gentleman and pull out the extra $20-40 and pick up the cheque.

-Josh

Online Dating 101

Figured it was time for another refresher (and for our new followers), as I constantly still see many people making some fatal errors. I found a short but good article done by MensFitness.com that states "you have one click to make a good impress with your online dating profile. These four tricks will help."

1) Pick a mature (not silly or arrogant) screen name. This is actually something I missed covering in an earlier post. Their example of what not to do is "BigMikey9Inch" and how you might think it's clever but it's very unlikely the girl will. This I feel is true, as the girl is more likely to think you're a) an idiot, b) trying to hard to get noticed, c) closer to "NotSoBigMikey4inch"

2) Use a high-quality photo. This one has been mentioned by me in the past but it's definitely a must. First women want to know exactly who they are talking too and will want to clearly see your face, so lose the ball caps and sun glasses.

3) Be clever in your profile. Don't give them your life story, as it leaves very little to be discovered and everyone likes a little mystery. I also like their suggestion of "Don't start out by apologizing", just because you're not a great writer doesn't mean you should advertise your short comings. She'll figure it out in time and letting your personality shine through will be a lot more successful then divulging useless information.

4) Stick with the truth. I can't stress this point enough, please don't lie. They're going to find out eventually, and when they do their will be trust issues. The #1 things that men lie about is their height, well women lie about their weight. Speaking from experience it's really disheartening when you get to know someone over the internet, then meet them and are nothing like you were expecting.

-Josh

Online Dating Is Embarrassing?

I've read articles about it, heard about friends getting a hard time from other friends for doing it, and I still can't figure out why someone should be made to feel embarrassed about using online dating services. A decade ago when people believed online dating myths like their were no attractive people using online dating, or that everyone online is desperate or a psycho you can understand why people wouldn't want to admit to using such services and maybe be embarrassed by it. In 2011 we should now be past this as their are millions of people all around the world using online dating services to search for potential partners. Most peoples lives are very hectic, working longer hours, keeping fit, catching up with friends and it's difficult to find time to go out and meet new people. The online dating scene is quick, easy, and convenient giving these people a chance at finding happiness. So if you're one of the people feeling embarrassed about using online dating don't be. Everyone deserves a chance to be happy, and if your friends make you feel embarrassed for trying to be happy, maybe... they aren't really that good of a friend after all.

-Josh

Facebook Dating App

For everything you can imagine theirs usually an "APP" for and this it true for online dating. Dana previously talked about the POF (Plenty of Fish) App for smart phones, but the newest and hottest dating App might surprise you a little.

The new Social Connect App created by Facebook was voted the 2011 best dating App. The social-networking giant has created a online virtual cafe where people can do various things: rate hot connectors, send charms to your favourites, find and "fave" local hot spots with FaveScape, and even browse for other singles. In addition they've created a "Guardian" feature that allows you to set up contact information of family and friends so they can check in with you while you are on your date. If you're looking to try online dating, I'd suggest giving Social Connect a look.

-Josh

Be Mysterious?? Dating

I ran across some entertaining, and possibly some helpful videos by Dr. Paul Vehorn whom is a nationwide talk-show host. He believes that people need to be mysterious when trying to attract a member of the opposite sex.   Below is one of his videos...

What do you guys think of his advice?  And, what level of mysteriousness is most appropriate?  The one thing that I struggle with in Dr. Paul's advice is that it would be pretty hard to get to know someone if they are not willing to open up.  But, I can understand that being mysterious could be a good way to catch someone's attention.

-Dana

The Truth About Online Dating

I am clearly not a fan of online dating, and to be honest I have already deleted all of my accounts.  Therefore, from now on I will be focusing my posts on dating and relationships in general.

Below is a quick video showing the disadvantages of online dating and why it doesn't work. It is a pretty simple video, but the message is very accurate in my opinion.

-Dana

Top 10 Traits of a Good Boyfriend

Well doing some research I came across this pretty interesting article by AskMen on the top 10 traits that make up a good boyfriend and my opinions on each.

10 - You Listen

Josh: Kind've a no-brainer, isn't it?

9 - You Don't Bore Her

Josh: Think everyone will agree being unpredictable keeps things exciting

8- You Know How To Please Her in Bed

Josh: So that's what I've been doing wrong... lol

7- You're Not Passive

Josh: Opinions may differ, but someone who is strong and confident in themselves is more appealing then a spineless jellyfish no?

6- You're Detail-Oriented

Josh: How many guys just groaned? Noticing the new dress she's wearing or how she's changed her hair... Kinda a big deal

5- You Give Her Space

Josh: Shows you trust her and you have a good relationship. Plus gives you a chance for a boys night, can you say win-win.

4- You Respect Her (and Her Family)

Josh: Definitely a must, no exceptions.

3- You Better Yourself

Josh: Everyone should try to do this anyways, but women do have a way of inspiring us guys to be better.

2- You Challenge Her To Be Better

Josh: Whether it's being supportive in her professional life, or inspiring her to make positive changes by things you're doing, this is a mark of a great relationship.

1- You Make Her Feel Beautiful

Josh: I'd hope that every boyfriend makes their girlfriend feel beautiful and brightens their day!

Do you think AskMen got this top 10 traits of a good boyfriend right?

-Josh

Online Dating Apps

I recently discovered that there is an App for Plenty of Fish on the IPhone, and IPad.  It is quite standard but is set up in an organized and clean manner.  With this App, people can review their matches, and read their messages on the go.  It also includes an instant chat function, and allows you to search other  mobile users that are online as well.

 I shouldn't have been surprised that there was an App for this site, as Apps have become very popular since the emergence of smart phones.  There's now basically an App for just about anything.  I am not sure if the Plenty of Fish App is compatible with Androids, but I am sure it is.  For more information on Apps for Androids, check out this blog about the Android world. They have some great information to keep Android owners up to date.

What do you guys think about Apps, and how online dating is now mobile?

-Dana

What to Talk About on Your Date? - Online Dating

It seems as though a lot of people on online dating sites talk a fair amount over the net.  During that time they explain what they do, what they like, dislike, etc. So what do they have to talk about when they meet for the first time?

According to the article "What to Talk About on a First Date" by Stuart Dobson you should:

• Be unexpected: Talk about something original
• Avoid giving straight answers
• Be positive, you need to keep a good tone
• Try to keep the conversation on the other person: People love talking about themselves
• Ask open ended questions: "What if you were to..."
• Be oberservant: Notice funny things around you
• Try playing a game

These are all great tips, and will most likely keep you both entertained.  Also keep up to date on the latest news, and what is going on around the world.  This is a great conversation started, and may even lead to a fun debate.  Furthermore, check out this blog, Stupid and the City and keep up-to-date with what is going on around you.  This blog has articles on:

What's going on in Italy

German Support

Cyprus Oil Quest

Greece Crisis

If you have any other suggestions, feel free to leave a comment!  What's your experience been like?

-Dana

Best Date Music

                         

So in previous posts I talked about what some of the first date ideas are and among them was taking in some live music. However I overlooked one of the crucial times during dates, that happens on almost all dates, the car ride. I'm not an expert by any stretch when it comes to music, so I decided to ask one.
My good friend Chrys runs this awesome blog all about music and recommended the following songs to help set the mood for your date.

#10  Ellie Goulding - Under the Sheets
#9    David Gray - This Year's Love
#8   Sade - By Your Side
#7   HIM - Join Me In Death
#6   The Weeknd - What You Need
#5   Drake - Brand New
#4   Lights - Drive My Soul
#3   Adele - Someone Like You
#2   Kanye West - Slow Jamz
#1   Skrillex - Cinema

Some of the songs I had never heard before Chrys told me about them and have to admit, I like them. If you liked her top 10 Best Date Songs check out here blog @ http://musicwithchrys.blogspots.com for more awesome tips and tracks.

Let me know if you like her top 10 and if you have some others that you think are good date songs.

-Josh

How to Dress for a Date

Since it is important to make a good first impression, dressing well is crucial.  Below are some tips to consider when picking out your outfit.

• Don't be afraid to be different, but still comfortable
• Make sure you know what you are doing and where you are going
• Don't be too cautious, or overly flashy
• Make sure you feel comfortable, and confident

Going to the Movies for a First Date?- Online Dating

Going to the movie theaters for a first date is still a common choice among many different individuals.  Is it the best choice though?  Usually on a first date you want to be able to talk and get to know each other, but in this type of setting that is hard to do.  So why do people still chose this type of date?

My recommendation is that if you decide to go to the movies you should definitely make it a combo date.  Perhaps go to the nearest coffee shop or restaurant for dessert to talk about the movie, and each other.

-Dana

Top 3 Favourite Places To Eat On A Date

I'd like to recommend anyone who is unsure about how good the cuisine is at a restaurant around Barrie is checks out the Barrie Restaurant Review Blog. They give an honest and accurate breakdown of the quality of food and service you can expect at each establishment.

Ok, well I enjoy eating at a lot of places but my 3 favourite places to take girls on dates are as follows:

3. Swiss Chatlet (as seen above) delivers great tasting food that most people like and a quiet atmosphere where you can have great conversation.

2. Moxies is a little expensive for a first date, but the quality of food and desserts are fantastic. The atmosphere sets the mood for a great night and I've always received quality customer service.

1. PIE Restaurant is located in the southend of Barrie and is my favourite place to take a date. They offer so many different varieties of pizzas and they are incredibly good. The price is very reasonable for the quality of food/service you receive.

Let me know some of your favourite places to eat!

-Josh

Do You Have To Message People Back?

According to various dating services it's okay to ignore people who take the time to message you if you're not interested in them. Although this definitely saves us time, are we all so busy that we can't take 20 seconds to message people back? No matter how many messages I get in my inbox, I always message people back if they've sent me a message. Why? Out of respect for the other person and to show I appreciate them taking the time to read my profile and contact me. In todays day and age it just seems that people are so wrapped up in themselves, that we ignore other people and don't consider their feelings.

On the other hand in some situations I would support ignoring some messages, if they do any of the following:

1) Put no effort into their message and only put a few words like "what's up" or "you're hot"

2) If their message is offensive or ignorant

3) If they don't relate anything from your profile in the message and you believe they just viewed your picture and didn't take the time to check out the profile you've filled out

It's totally up to your personal preference if you're going to message someone back but just remember to consider if the shoe was on the other foot, would you want a message back even if it's just a "thank you"?

-Josh

What's Your Dream Date?

What do people expect from a first date?  What would be considered a DREAM date?  These are some of the questions I have been asking myself when contemplating this whole online dating experience.  I mean some people take this process very seriously and want to impress their dates when they first meet.  I found this video, and thought it was funny. I guess it really depends on the person and what they want. I think it is important that people be themselves right from the beginning, so there are no surprises down the road.  

-Dana

Dana's First Online Date Experience

So I took the next step and set up a date on Plenty of Fish!  I felt comfortable meeting this individual because he goes to Georgian College as well and is not looking for anything more than just friends.  So I thought this would be a safe date, and it was.  We decided to meet at a nearby Tim Horton's to grab a tea, and chat for a bit.  I told him all about the blog and how my experience at Georgian College has been so far.  It was an enjoyable conversation, and I am sure we will remain friends.

-Dana

Viva Italian Girls

I don’t know what it is, but Italian ladies know how to have good dates. Ok this one isn’t in the playbook for first dates, but I actually had her over for a home cooked meal. It wasn’t intentional, but it ended up happening, so you have to make the best of it. The menu of home cooked meal was spaghetti & meatballs (her favourite), caesar salad made from scratch, garlic bread, no red wine because she had to drive back home, but the homemade chocolate éclairs for dessert more then made up for it. Seems women love when you put the time and effort in to cook them a good home cooked meal. We then decided to head downstairs to watch a movie, and she chose The Hangover. Not romantic, but it was very funny and had us laughing most of the time. Laying on the couch together, in front of the gas fireplace, cuddling, just made the night even more special. Too be honest it would be hard to top how great a date this was… uh oh… I guess I better get thinking incase we have a 2^nd date. Only time will tell, check back later to find out!

-Josh

Josh's First "Online" Date

Well after 6 weeks of learning about online dating, interacting with girls online, I finally had my first date with someone who I met online. It felt exactly like any first dates I've ever gone on the only difference is we had never met face-to-face before. So I approached the date the same way I would approach any other, just have fun and try to avoid any awkward moment.

The first thing we did was exactly as voted best first date idea, we "played tourist". We parked and walked to nearest Tim Hortons downtown and grabbed a hot chocolate. Unfortunately it was chilly out so we viewed the water at a distance and ended up walking/talking are way back to my car. It turned out she likes to play pool and is very good at it, so we headed to Dooley's for some fun and friendly competition. I have to admit, I'm not the greatest pool player to begin with, but she had game! After getting my butt whooped on the pool table, we decided to grab some dinner. If you haven't been to "PIE" Restaurant, you definitely should consider going. It has good service, amazing food and a great atmosphere. After a fantastic meal, good conversation, I took her home. Needless to say I thought the date went well, and a text from her thanking me for the date and telling me she had a really good time confirmed my feelings that it went well. I'm glad to have the first "online" date out of the way, because I have heard some horror stories about them, but mine went very well.

Their is likely going to be a 2nd date in the near future, but for now I gotta run because the 3rd period of the Leafs game is starting!

-Josh

Poll Results - Best First Date Ideas

The results are in and in first with 50% of the vote: "Play Tourist" was voted the best first date. Tied in second with 25% of the vote was going to the driving range and bowling. Thank you to all who voted. I'm kind've surprised nobody liked going somewhere they play live music, have a drink and get to know someone as a first date. However the people have spoken so for my first date, I will be doing the "Play Tourist" idea around Barrie. I'll be going on my first date this afternoon, so check back later tonight to hear all about it!

-Josh

Great For Networking

For the people I have talked to online, I am finding that dating sites are not only for dating but also for social networking.  I haven't really used the site for dating purposes yet, but I am finding that the people I am talking to are giving me great advice about school and possible careers.  It seems that some people on Plenty of Fish are not looking for anything either, but merely just want to spend some spare time talking for the sake of talking.

I've had some people so interested in this blog that they have be willing to brainstorm with me on ways to create a larger audience.  They tell me about their experiences in the workforce and how they got where they are.  Some of the stories have been really inspiring, and give me hope that I will be successful too.

So I just wanted to make it clear that not all people on Plenty of Fish are there for the wrong reasons.  Instead, I've learned that everyone is there for a different purpose.  The only frustration, is the process of finding the people that are there for the same reasons you are.

-Dana

Small World

I'm not sure about Dana, but I can't believe how small todays world is. When the great Steve Jobs passed away within 2 minutes the world knew about via FaceBook, and other media outlets. Then well doing this online dating experiment, I've run across a bunch of different people that I know or they know me. I've managed to reconnect with some old friends and even long lost high school friends. Many messages within my inbox have said they recognize me from university and most recently I was in line at school to get a bite to eat between lectures and a girl approached me saying she saw my profile from POF. Then just today one of the girls I've been talking to and going to go on a date with admitted she recognizes me from university and that's one of the reasons she began talking to me in the first place. I felt kind've bad because I don't recognize her at all, but it goes to show y0u just how small of a world we live in today.

Also please get your votes in on the "best first date idea" poll, it closes in three days times.

-Josh

Bitter Chaps

Stop being desperate, maybe.
Stop being needy, definitely.
Stop being bitter, absolutely.- Katz, E


Maybe it's just me, but when checking my messages last night on Plenty Of Fish I was just so overwhelmed with the amount of bitterness of some people.  I had this one guy write me a couple of days ago, and I never responded because I was so busy with exams... Next thing I know I am getting more messages from him saying how stuck up I am and that he is so sick of girls being complete snobs & not replying.  I just don't think it is necessary to send such hateful messages to someone you don't even know.  Plus this isn't the only guy that has done this, so many guys have just gotten to the point that they are so bitter towards women, and it's a major turnoff. 


My advice for all you guys is to just relax....breathe....  Don't take life too seriously, and if you try too hard you will likely have a harder time finding someone.  Maybe just leave it up to fate and make the most out of your lives the way they are now!  No more hateful messages! 


-Dana

Dating On Facebook

Hey everyone,  check out this video!
WARNING: There is a little bit of swearing at the end.

What do you guys think of this video?  Do you think Facebook is becoming like a dating site in its own unique way?

-Dana

The Do's and Don't of Online Dating for Men

Ok, this one is for all the "men" out there that are either clueless or just plain dumb about how they interact with women online. No offense meant, but I think I speak for decent men everywhere when I say, stop embarrassing the rest of us and giving us a bad rep. So here are some Do's and Don't when it comes to communicating with the opposite sex and setting up your profile.

Do > have multiple profile pictures, the more interesting the better because it'll give women things to originally talk about.

Don't > have pictures of your buddies in your photos. you're all ready being compared to all the other profiles, so why let someone compare you in your own profile picture?

Do > use photos that are accurate and recent, because if it isn't you're most likely gonna drive her away when you do meet.

Don't > I know I've covered this once before but I keep hearing about "men" doing it, so never ever start off a message with hey "sexy" "cutie" "baby" "babe" "honey" "sugar" etc... as I'm sure you've read in a lot of women's profiles, It's a large turn off to them more times then not

Do> have a bold intro, you need to make them want to read the rest.

Don't > use starters like "Yes, I'm single. I am throwing it out there". really? you're single? cause obviously when you're on an online dating site, and message her, she isn't going to think you're single before you announce that?

Do > ask her questions, and show her that you're actually interested in her.

Don't > "go straight for the kill" as I've heard guys refer to it countless times. she is most likely using an online dating site because she's tired of dealing with complete meatheads, so don't be one.

Do > pick the girl that's best for you, not just the one that looks the best. ok you need to be honest with yourself here and give yourself a chance at actually finding the right girl. if she's really attractive, but you have zero interests in common, what do you think the chances of it actually working out will be? zero to none.

Don't > take yourself too seriously and try to enjoy the online dating process. if you actually are enjoying yourself it'll come across when you talk to her. trust me, girls a lot more perceptive then you or I will ever be.

Do > take the time and actually READ her profile, get to know the stuff she wants you to know. she posted it in her profile for a reason.

I know some of these sound like common sense, but believe me from all the horror stories I hear about daily and have even witnessed some, it happens more then you'd think. Hopefully this guide of Do's and Don't will help you. If you have any more suggestions for "Do's and Don't" please post them below in the comments.

Thanks for reading!

-Josh

Still Fishing...

So I thought I would give everyone an update on what's been going on through my online dating experience.  It's been moving at a pretty slow pace, but I think the only thing that has been making this process unsuccessful is me holding myself back.  I will admit, online dating is definitely out of my comfort zone, but I do believe that it can work for some.  I have talked to a few individuals, but we usually just have one conversation, and that's the end of it.  I really enjoy talking to people that are in post-secondary school as I feel it is something neutral to talk about.... but as soon as they start talking about personal things, I begin to become standoffish.  I just don't feel comfortable confiding personal information to people I don't even know.  However, I am starting to realize that in order to make the most out of your experience and be successful in finding something you kind of have to just go with it.  So I am going to try to have a more open mind about this, and see where that takes me.

I promise I will make this more interesting for you guys.... I just might have to meet some weirdos ;)

-Dana

ABC News- Online Dating By The Numbers

Check out this video by ABC news on online dating.  The growing popularity of online dating is getting people talking, and it seems to be still the growing trend in finding companionship.  This video is specifically about the OKCupid dating site.  I'm interested in seeing what this one is all about, so I will keep you guy updated as I find out.

Enjoy!

-Dana

Online Shrimps?

Well reading through close to 150 different female profiles and watching my female friends go through male profiles, I was constantly surprised at the listed heights. I had always believed the average height for Canadian males was 5'10.5" and that females were 5'5". However upon further investigation I found out the actual average height for Canadian males is 5'8.5" and females are 5'3.4" tall. Personally that seems really short to me (maybe because I'm 6'3") but I can't argue with statistics. So I did my own little experiment by checking 20 random profiles of girls on POF to see what the average heights would be. After adding up the statistics and seeing the average height, I was shocked to find it was 5'2.5" which is almost an inch shorter then the national average. Obviously this was only one small sample of 20 females, but it does raise the question "are the majority of online dating service users shorter then the national Canadian average?".

So I'd like you to give it a try. Check 20 random profiles, choosing either male or female. Add up the combined heights of all 20 individuals then divide that number by 20 and let me know your results please.

-Josh

Top 10 Dating Sites

I've been wondering which is the best online dating site available today, so I've been searching through a bunch of reviews. TOP 10 SITES REVIEW check out this review and let me know what your opinion is because, I found it fairly accurate when it came to the sites I've used and had feedback on. Every online dating site on the top 10 list costs money for full access except for POF which is of course free to use.

-Josh

Best First Date Ideas

If their is one thing that I've learned by doing this project about online dating is that their are a lot of single people in Ontario looking for a companion. Thankfully I'm now through the stage of having too message people I've viewed and into getting to know each other better. I've finally gotten comfortable enough with several different "fish" on POF that I gave them my cell phone number and we're texting daily. The next step obviously is to set up dates to meet/hang out with these girls and get to know them even better, in the hope that one of them might just be the right one. Unfortunately it's mid-terms and I don't currently have time this week, so it'll have to wait until next week. This might be a good thing because it gives me time to open up a poll to figure out "what is the best first date" and get your feedback.

Here are my ideas and why I think each of them is worth consideration.

Try New Cuisine: Sharing new experiences together is a great way to build a connection with someone. So by going somewhere a little more adventurous, maybe new ethnic cuisine that neither of us have ever tried before, it helps create extra excitement. Best case scenario you both love the food and can enjoy it again for a future date.

Play Tourist: This can be done in your hometown cause we often take them for granted. For example Barrie would be awesome place to check out some of the old historic houses that are scatted throughout the downtown core. It's also a great time of year to grab a hot chocolate, then take a walk along the water front checking out the gorgeous views well the leaves are changing colours. Also provides a great chance to talk and get to know each other more.

Ice-Skating: This is just innocent fun, because really who doesn't love to ice skate. It gets your both active and holding hands well skating and chatting sounds like fun? Or is that more of a 2nd or 3rd date idea? You be the judge.

Driving Range: Well this is definitely something I'd enjoy since golf is something I'm very passionate about. It's not particularly strenuous and it's a fun outdoors activity, not to mention you do have to be great or athletic to have a good time. Also it gives me a chance to help her with swing if she wants some tips (knew becoming a golf pro was a good idea!). Even better if she's good, it can lead to some playful competition!

Bowling: It's an old-school dating idea and is very casual. Another great way to have friendly competition and can do so well having a slice of pizza and a drink. Not to mention almost everyone has bowled so it'll help keep us both relax and comfortable.

Live Music Show: This isn't my favourite idea, but I know a few friends have suggested it so I'm not ruling it out. It gives us a great environment to have a conversation well listening to some good music.

Those are just my ideas so please cast your vote or add your great first date ideas in the comment section below.

-Josh

Favourite Pick Up Line - Poll Results

Last week I put up a poll asking our readers to choose their favourite pickup line.  All of which I had received while being on Plenty of Fish.

• Nothing like your ex-boyfriend... lets chat
• :) That is all
• Give an Irish man his lucky day
• I'm new to town, can you give me directions... to your house

60% of the participants chose ":) That is all" as their top choice.  I'd love to hear your thoughts as to why you guys chose that one!  It definitely made me laugh when I received that message.  Only because it was completely random, and I had no idea how to respond.  Therefore, I didn't respond back, so in the end it probably wasn't the most successful one.  Nonetheless, it was a unique way in getting someone's attention.

-Dana

Deceiving Profile Pictures

Social Networking has allowed us to tweak not only our personalities, but also certain undesirable features associated with our looks.  Who needs to go to the gym, eat healthy and/or get plastic surgery when you can just go online and virtually erase all of your flaws.  Once again, I am talking about that security shield we seem to hide behind when we communicate online.  This time I want to explore this theory with the use of online profile pictures.

Is it safe to say that the majority of us are more inclined to put up pictures that are more flattering of ourselves online? Yes, of course it is... why would you put up a picture that you look completely horrible in.  However, you also don't want to put up pictures that make you look too good, especially if you are just putting up one.  I never really thought of this until my friend told me her experience of meeting her online friend in person.  He only had two pictures up on his profile, and he looked really good in both of them, but when she met him in person she was somewhat disappointed.  This was not because he wasn't good looking but because he set the bar pretty high in his profile.  So in person he just didn't measure up.

Or in extreme cases you have people that completely change the way they look online which does not represent what they look like in person at all.  One lady said she had been talking to this guy for about 2 months before meeting him.  She thought she knew him pretty well, and from what she thought,  they had a lot in common.  His picture portrayed him to be youthful, athletic, and handsome, but when she met him in person she could not believe her eyes.  She was sitting in a coffee shop waiting for her date, when this 300 lb man came up to her and introduced himself as the person she had been waiting for.  Needless to say the issue was not necessarily about his weight, but instead about the fact that he portrayed his image to be something quite different than what it actually was.

So the lesson here is that no matter how tempting it is to cover up our insecurities, we must not mislead individuals to perceive us as something we are not.  Whether we do it by accident or on purpose, this masking of our own identities will not help anyone in finding someone they are compatible with.  We must remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if we accept ourselves for exactly who we are, and what we look like then someone will surely see the beauty in that.  

-Dana

How To Write An Irresistible First Message

The large and expanding world of online dating comes with a lot of benefits like being able to advertise yourself through a personal profile for other online singles to view. It also gives you the ability to view their profiles to learn who they are, where they live, and what their interests are. After this stage comes the difficult part, making first contact with someone you'd like to get to know.

Some important things for guys to remember when writing their first message is: males out number females on most online dating sites by almost 2 to 1, and that males make the large majority of first contact. So it's very unlikely that your message will be the only one she's reading. As I learned from seeing the amount of messages both Dana and my friend Brittany receive. Brittany for example received 20 inbox messages and a dozen chat requests in under an hour. Knowing all this and seeing how important the first message is, I'll try to explain how I believe to best write an "Irresistible First Message".

Okay, so you've found someone you really like and are ready to make first contact with them. First things first, you read their profile carefully and decide what caught your eye the most. Is it their sparkly sense of humour? The fact you both have the same taste in music? Whatever it is, make sure you bring this up in your message. Ex. "Hi _______, I noticed in your profile you really like movies. What type of movies do like best?" This shows not only that you actually took the time to read their profile, but you're showing interest in one of their interests.

Next, a well-placed compliment is always a good idea. No, this doesn't mean you think that individual is really hot and you say "sexiiii xoxo" or "yur hot", it comes off really shallow and superficial. Look for something that strikes you as impressive in this person's interests or history, and talk about it. This will make them feel that you appreciate their good points and most likely increase the chance you'll receive a message back.

The best messages will pique the curiosity of the receiver and is an infallible way to get a reply. If they mention an interest in a topic that you know about, it is a good idea to suggest you know something that they don't and you're willing to share. If their profile states they've a huge fan of "folk music" and you're knowledgable and a fan as well try: "You should check out (insert folk artist here), I think you'd like them and I know a few other groups I could recommend". It's a great way to grab their attention and lead to future conversation.

Finally, keep humour to a minimum. As everyone knows when it comes to text or e-mails, the other person may not realize you're joking, especially if they're a complete stranger. Be respectful and write something special for the special person who caught your eye. Anyone can cut-and-paste message, and if the other person realizes you did this it tells them you're not even willing to make the effort to write something for them. If that happens, then don't expect them to take the time to write back. Also take the extra few seconds to re-read your message to catch spelling and grammar errors, it'll make you seem clever and shows you care.

Hopefully this helps you! Let me know what you think of my "how to write an irresistible first message".

-Josh

Different Types of Online Dating Services

I decided to do some research on the different types of online dating services available and found an awesome article done by the Online Dating Magazine. (www.onlinedatingmagazine.com) I discovered their are 5 different types of dating services out there and hopefully after reading this you'll be able to select the ones that match up with your goals.

1. General Online Dating Services: These provide you with the ability to view everyone that has posted a profile and is generally aimed at dating. (Match.com, Lavelife and FriendFinder)

2. Relationship Services: This service matches you with others based on compatibility testing and are generally for people who are more serious about a relationship or marriage. (eHarmony and Chemistry.com)

3. Social Network Services: They are free sites that allow you to build your base of friends and potentially find someone to date in the process. (MySpace, Friendster and Okrut)

4. Niche Dating Services: Aimed at bringing people together, to date, who share a specific common passion or desire. (Green Friends, Equestrian Cupid, Millionaire Match and Senior Match)

5. Merging Online Dating Services: Combine online dating with office applications. Allow people to post a profile then hand out specially printed cards to people you meet in everyday life who you're interested in. They can use the card to access your hidden profile to learn more about you. (Peek A Bio and Chick n Chit)

I definitely suggest you take a good look at which dating services will best allow you to meet your goals and then pursue them!

-Josh

Online Dating Safety

I have been recently thinking about the safety of online dating.  I've also realized that maybe it isn't such a good idea to add my photo to my profile, and tell people what school I am attending.  I might just be a bit paranoid but you never know who is looking at your information. Just think, you could be walking down the street and someone recognizes you from your profile.... If you have tons of information about yourself you automatically make yourself vulnerable to total strangers, while no longer having the internet to hide behind. So I have come to the conclusion that women on online dating sites should disclose as little information as possible.  I have also noticed that a lot of people have been really aggressive with moving things forward very fast.  Most individuals are not happy messaging back and forth on the dating site, but instead insist to carry conversations on through texting, msn, and/or personal email.  If you decline such communication methods, they will most likely move on to the next and you won't hear from them again.... well at least in my case.  I am realizing that I don't feel comfortable with the forwardness of online dating, and it just gives me a really uncomfortable feeling.  That's why I decided to focus my post on the safety of online dating.  Above is a little video that kind of touches on some points to keep in mind.  So online dating users, keep this in mind and be SAFE!!!

Does anyone else feel this way?  Do you think online dating is possibly dangerous?

-Dana

Pick Up Lines

I have yet to be the one to initiate conversation with someone on P.O.F, but I was thinking today that is I were to message someone what would I even say? So then I thought some more, and went through some of the messages I have received.  To sum all the different introductions I have received they are either:

• A short personal introduction, where they say who they are, what they like, and why they are messaging you.
• A novel, where they tell you their whole life story (the good, the bad, and EVEN the ugly)
• A statement about your looks, or
• A completely random one liner in hopes to grab your attention

Photo from: Textdating.com

So what method is best?  What do you guys think?  

I personally prefer a short personal introduction over the rest.... but still many people use the other three introductions so they must work to a certain extent.  

To the right is a poll with some examples of the one liners I have received.  I have excluded the inappropriate ones for the sake of keeping this blog clean.  Please choose the one you like the best.  They all gave me a little chuckle.  

Also I'd love to hear other people's experiences with this, so please leave a comment!

-Dana