What's Your Dream Date?

What do people expect from a first date?  What would be considered a DREAM date?  These are some of the questions I have been asking myself when contemplating this whole online dating experience.  I mean some people take this process very seriously and want to impress their dates when they first meet.  I found this video, and thought it was funny. I guess it really depends on the person and what they want. I think it is important that people be themselves right from the beginning, so there are no surprises down the road.  

-Dana

Dana's First Online Date Experience

So I took the next step and set up a date on Plenty of Fish!  I felt comfortable meeting this individual because he goes to Georgian College as well and is not looking for anything more than just friends.  So I thought this would be a safe date, and it was.  We decided to meet at a nearby Tim Horton's to grab a tea, and chat for a bit.  I told him all about the blog and how my experience at Georgian College has been so far.  It was an enjoyable conversation, and I am sure we will remain friends.

-Dana

Viva Italian Girls

I don’t know what it is, but Italian ladies know how to have good dates. Ok this one isn’t in the playbook for first dates, but I actually had her over for a home cooked meal. It wasn’t intentional, but it ended up happening, so you have to make the best of it. The menu of home cooked meal was spaghetti & meatballs (her favourite), caesar salad made from scratch, garlic bread, no red wine because she had to drive back home, but the homemade chocolate éclairs for dessert more then made up for it. Seems women love when you put the time and effort in to cook them a good home cooked meal. We then decided to head downstairs to watch a movie, and she chose The Hangover. Not romantic, but it was very funny and had us laughing most of the time. Laying on the couch together, in front of the gas fireplace, cuddling, just made the night even more special. Too be honest it would be hard to top how great a date this was… uh oh… I guess I better get thinking incase we have a 2^nd date. Only time will tell, check back later to find out!

-Josh

Josh's First "Online" Date

Well after 6 weeks of learning about online dating, interacting with girls online, I finally had my first date with someone who I met online. It felt exactly like any first dates I've ever gone on the only difference is we had never met face-to-face before. So I approached the date the same way I would approach any other, just have fun and try to avoid any awkward moment.

The first thing we did was exactly as voted best first date idea, we "played tourist". We parked and walked to nearest Tim Hortons downtown and grabbed a hot chocolate. Unfortunately it was chilly out so we viewed the water at a distance and ended up walking/talking are way back to my car. It turned out she likes to play pool and is very good at it, so we headed to Dooley's for some fun and friendly competition. I have to admit, I'm not the greatest pool player to begin with, but she had game! After getting my butt whooped on the pool table, we decided to grab some dinner. If you haven't been to "PIE" Restaurant, you definitely should consider going. It has good service, amazing food and a great atmosphere. After a fantastic meal, good conversation, I took her home. Needless to say I thought the date went well, and a text from her thanking me for the date and telling me she had a really good time confirmed my feelings that it went well. I'm glad to have the first "online" date out of the way, because I have heard some horror stories about them, but mine went very well.

Their is likely going to be a 2nd date in the near future, but for now I gotta run because the 3rd period of the Leafs game is starting!

-Josh

Poll Results - Best First Date Ideas

The results are in and in first with 50% of the vote: "Play Tourist" was voted the best first date. Tied in second with 25% of the vote was going to the driving range and bowling. Thank you to all who voted. I'm kind've surprised nobody liked going somewhere they play live music, have a drink and get to know someone as a first date. However the people have spoken so for my first date, I will be doing the "Play Tourist" idea around Barrie. I'll be going on my first date this afternoon, so check back later tonight to hear all about it!

-Josh

Great For Networking

For the people I have talked to online, I am finding that dating sites are not only for dating but also for social networking.  I haven't really used the site for dating purposes yet, but I am finding that the people I am talking to are giving me great advice about school and possible careers.  It seems that some people on Plenty of Fish are not looking for anything either, but merely just want to spend some spare time talking for the sake of talking.

I've had some people so interested in this blog that they have be willing to brainstorm with me on ways to create a larger audience.  They tell me about their experiences in the workforce and how they got where they are.  Some of the stories have been really inspiring, and give me hope that I will be successful too.

So I just wanted to make it clear that not all people on Plenty of Fish are there for the wrong reasons.  Instead, I've learned that everyone is there for a different purpose.  The only frustration, is the process of finding the people that are there for the same reasons you are.

-Dana

Small World

I'm not sure about Dana, but I can't believe how small todays world is. When the great Steve Jobs passed away within 2 minutes the world knew about via FaceBook, and other media outlets. Then well doing this online dating experiment, I've run across a bunch of different people that I know or they know me. I've managed to reconnect with some old friends and even long lost high school friends. Many messages within my inbox have said they recognize me from university and most recently I was in line at school to get a bite to eat between lectures and a girl approached me saying she saw my profile from POF. Then just today one of the girls I've been talking to and going to go on a date with admitted she recognizes me from university and that's one of the reasons she began talking to me in the first place. I felt kind've bad because I don't recognize her at all, but it goes to show y0u just how small of a world we live in today.

Also please get your votes in on the "best first date idea" poll, it closes in three days times.

-Josh

Bitter Chaps

Stop being desperate, maybe.
Stop being needy, definitely.
Stop being bitter, absolutely.- Katz, E


Maybe it's just me, but when checking my messages last night on Plenty Of Fish I was just so overwhelmed with the amount of bitterness of some people.  I had this one guy write me a couple of days ago, and I never responded because I was so busy with exams... Next thing I know I am getting more messages from him saying how stuck up I am and that he is so sick of girls being complete snobs & not replying.  I just don't think it is necessary to send such hateful messages to someone you don't even know.  Plus this isn't the only guy that has done this, so many guys have just gotten to the point that they are so bitter towards women, and it's a major turnoff. 


My advice for all you guys is to just relax....breathe....  Don't take life too seriously, and if you try too hard you will likely have a harder time finding someone.  Maybe just leave it up to fate and make the most out of your lives the way they are now!  No more hateful messages! 


-Dana

Dating On Facebook

Hey everyone,  check out this video!
WARNING: There is a little bit of swearing at the end.

What do you guys think of this video?  Do you think Facebook is becoming like a dating site in its own unique way?

-Dana

The Do's and Don't of Online Dating for Men

Ok, this one is for all the "men" out there that are either clueless or just plain dumb about how they interact with women online. No offense meant, but I think I speak for decent men everywhere when I say, stop embarrassing the rest of us and giving us a bad rep. So here are some Do's and Don't when it comes to communicating with the opposite sex and setting up your profile.

Do > have multiple profile pictures, the more interesting the better because it'll give women things to originally talk about.

Don't > have pictures of your buddies in your photos. you're all ready being compared to all the other profiles, so why let someone compare you in your own profile picture?

Do > use photos that are accurate and recent, because if it isn't you're most likely gonna drive her away when you do meet.

Don't > I know I've covered this once before but I keep hearing about "men" doing it, so never ever start off a message with hey "sexy" "cutie" "baby" "babe" "honey" "sugar" etc... as I'm sure you've read in a lot of women's profiles, It's a large turn off to them more times then not

Do> have a bold intro, you need to make them want to read the rest.

Don't > use starters like "Yes, I'm single. I am throwing it out there". really? you're single? cause obviously when you're on an online dating site, and message her, she isn't going to think you're single before you announce that?

Do > ask her questions, and show her that you're actually interested in her.

Don't > "go straight for the kill" as I've heard guys refer to it countless times. she is most likely using an online dating site because she's tired of dealing with complete meatheads, so don't be one.

Do > pick the girl that's best for you, not just the one that looks the best. ok you need to be honest with yourself here and give yourself a chance at actually finding the right girl. if she's really attractive, but you have zero interests in common, what do you think the chances of it actually working out will be? zero to none.

Don't > take yourself too seriously and try to enjoy the online dating process. if you actually are enjoying yourself it'll come across when you talk to her. trust me, girls a lot more perceptive then you or I will ever be.

Do > take the time and actually READ her profile, get to know the stuff she wants you to know. she posted it in her profile for a reason.

I know some of these sound like common sense, but believe me from all the horror stories I hear about daily and have even witnessed some, it happens more then you'd think. Hopefully this guide of Do's and Don't will help you. If you have any more suggestions for "Do's and Don't" please post them below in the comments.

Thanks for reading!

-Josh

Still Fishing...

So I thought I would give everyone an update on what's been going on through my online dating experience.  It's been moving at a pretty slow pace, but I think the only thing that has been making this process unsuccessful is me holding myself back.  I will admit, online dating is definitely out of my comfort zone, but I do believe that it can work for some.  I have talked to a few individuals, but we usually just have one conversation, and that's the end of it.  I really enjoy talking to people that are in post-secondary school as I feel it is something neutral to talk about.... but as soon as they start talking about personal things, I begin to become standoffish.  I just don't feel comfortable confiding personal information to people I don't even know.  However, I am starting to realize that in order to make the most out of your experience and be successful in finding something you kind of have to just go with it.  So I am going to try to have a more open mind about this, and see where that takes me.

I promise I will make this more interesting for you guys.... I just might have to meet some weirdos ;)

-Dana

ABC News- Online Dating By The Numbers

Check out this video by ABC news on online dating.  The growing popularity of online dating is getting people talking, and it seems to be still the growing trend in finding companionship.  This video is specifically about the OKCupid dating site.  I'm interested in seeing what this one is all about, so I will keep you guy updated as I find out.

Enjoy!

-Dana

Online Shrimps?

Well reading through close to 150 different female profiles and watching my female friends go through male profiles, I was constantly surprised at the listed heights. I had always believed the average height for Canadian males was 5'10.5" and that females were 5'5". However upon further investigation I found out the actual average height for Canadian males is 5'8.5" and females are 5'3.4" tall. Personally that seems really short to me (maybe because I'm 6'3") but I can't argue with statistics. So I did my own little experiment by checking 20 random profiles of girls on POF to see what the average heights would be. After adding up the statistics and seeing the average height, I was shocked to find it was 5'2.5" which is almost an inch shorter then the national average. Obviously this was only one small sample of 20 females, but it does raise the question "are the majority of online dating service users shorter then the national Canadian average?".

So I'd like you to give it a try. Check 20 random profiles, choosing either male or female. Add up the combined heights of all 20 individuals then divide that number by 20 and let me know your results please.

-Josh

Top 10 Dating Sites

I've been wondering which is the best online dating site available today, so I've been searching through a bunch of reviews. TOP 10 SITES REVIEW check out this review and let me know what your opinion is because, I found it fairly accurate when it came to the sites I've used and had feedback on. Every online dating site on the top 10 list costs money for full access except for POF which is of course free to use.

-Josh

Best First Date Ideas

If their is one thing that I've learned by doing this project about online dating is that their are a lot of single people in Ontario looking for a companion. Thankfully I'm now through the stage of having too message people I've viewed and into getting to know each other better. I've finally gotten comfortable enough with several different "fish" on POF that I gave them my cell phone number and we're texting daily. The next step obviously is to set up dates to meet/hang out with these girls and get to know them even better, in the hope that one of them might just be the right one. Unfortunately it's mid-terms and I don't currently have time this week, so it'll have to wait until next week. This might be a good thing because it gives me time to open up a poll to figure out "what is the best first date" and get your feedback.

Here are my ideas and why I think each of them is worth consideration.

Try New Cuisine: Sharing new experiences together is a great way to build a connection with someone. So by going somewhere a little more adventurous, maybe new ethnic cuisine that neither of us have ever tried before, it helps create extra excitement. Best case scenario you both love the food and can enjoy it again for a future date.

Play Tourist: This can be done in your hometown cause we often take them for granted. For example Barrie would be awesome place to check out some of the old historic houses that are scatted throughout the downtown core. It's also a great time of year to grab a hot chocolate, then take a walk along the water front checking out the gorgeous views well the leaves are changing colours. Also provides a great chance to talk and get to know each other more.

Ice-Skating: This is just innocent fun, because really who doesn't love to ice skate. It gets your both active and holding hands well skating and chatting sounds like fun? Or is that more of a 2nd or 3rd date idea? You be the judge.

Driving Range: Well this is definitely something I'd enjoy since golf is something I'm very passionate about. It's not particularly strenuous and it's a fun outdoors activity, not to mention you do have to be great or athletic to have a good time. Also it gives me a chance to help her with swing if she wants some tips (knew becoming a golf pro was a good idea!). Even better if she's good, it can lead to some playful competition!

Bowling: It's an old-school dating idea and is very casual. Another great way to have friendly competition and can do so well having a slice of pizza and a drink. Not to mention almost everyone has bowled so it'll help keep us both relax and comfortable.

Live Music Show: This isn't my favourite idea, but I know a few friends have suggested it so I'm not ruling it out. It gives us a great environment to have a conversation well listening to some good music.

Those are just my ideas so please cast your vote or add your great first date ideas in the comment section below.

-Josh

Favourite Pick Up Line - Poll Results

Last week I put up a poll asking our readers to choose their favourite pickup line.  All of which I had received while being on Plenty of Fish.

• Nothing like your ex-boyfriend... lets chat
• :) That is all
• Give an Irish man his lucky day
• I'm new to town, can you give me directions... to your house

60% of the participants chose ":) That is all" as their top choice.  I'd love to hear your thoughts as to why you guys chose that one!  It definitely made me laugh when I received that message.  Only because it was completely random, and I had no idea how to respond.  Therefore, I didn't respond back, so in the end it probably wasn't the most successful one.  Nonetheless, it was a unique way in getting someone's attention.

-Dana

Deceiving Profile Pictures

Social Networking has allowed us to tweak not only our personalities, but also certain undesirable features associated with our looks.  Who needs to go to the gym, eat healthy and/or get plastic surgery when you can just go online and virtually erase all of your flaws.  Once again, I am talking about that security shield we seem to hide behind when we communicate online.  This time I want to explore this theory with the use of online profile pictures.

Is it safe to say that the majority of us are more inclined to put up pictures that are more flattering of ourselves online? Yes, of course it is... why would you put up a picture that you look completely horrible in.  However, you also don't want to put up pictures that make you look too good, especially if you are just putting up one.  I never really thought of this until my friend told me her experience of meeting her online friend in person.  He only had two pictures up on his profile, and he looked really good in both of them, but when she met him in person she was somewhat disappointed.  This was not because he wasn't good looking but because he set the bar pretty high in his profile.  So in person he just didn't measure up.

Or in extreme cases you have people that completely change the way they look online which does not represent what they look like in person at all.  One lady said she had been talking to this guy for about 2 months before meeting him.  She thought she knew him pretty well, and from what she thought,  they had a lot in common.  His picture portrayed him to be youthful, athletic, and handsome, but when she met him in person she could not believe her eyes.  She was sitting in a coffee shop waiting for her date, when this 300 lb man came up to her and introduced himself as the person she had been waiting for.  Needless to say the issue was not necessarily about his weight, but instead about the fact that he portrayed his image to be something quite different than what it actually was.

So the lesson here is that no matter how tempting it is to cover up our insecurities, we must not mislead individuals to perceive us as something we are not.  Whether we do it by accident or on purpose, this masking of our own identities will not help anyone in finding someone they are compatible with.  We must remember that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and if we accept ourselves for exactly who we are, and what we look like then someone will surely see the beauty in that.  

-Dana

How To Write An Irresistible First Message

The large and expanding world of online dating comes with a lot of benefits like being able to advertise yourself through a personal profile for other online singles to view. It also gives you the ability to view their profiles to learn who they are, where they live, and what their interests are. After this stage comes the difficult part, making first contact with someone you'd like to get to know.

Some important things for guys to remember when writing their first message is: males out number females on most online dating sites by almost 2 to 1, and that males make the large majority of first contact. So it's very unlikely that your message will be the only one she's reading. As I learned from seeing the amount of messages both Dana and my friend Brittany receive. Brittany for example received 20 inbox messages and a dozen chat requests in under an hour. Knowing all this and seeing how important the first message is, I'll try to explain how I believe to best write an "Irresistible First Message".

Okay, so you've found someone you really like and are ready to make first contact with them. First things first, you read their profile carefully and decide what caught your eye the most. Is it their sparkly sense of humour? The fact you both have the same taste in music? Whatever it is, make sure you bring this up in your message. Ex. "Hi _______, I noticed in your profile you really like movies. What type of movies do like best?" This shows not only that you actually took the time to read their profile, but you're showing interest in one of their interests.

Next, a well-placed compliment is always a good idea. No, this doesn't mean you think that individual is really hot and you say "sexiiii xoxo" or "yur hot", it comes off really shallow and superficial. Look for something that strikes you as impressive in this person's interests or history, and talk about it. This will make them feel that you appreciate their good points and most likely increase the chance you'll receive a message back.

The best messages will pique the curiosity of the receiver and is an infallible way to get a reply. If they mention an interest in a topic that you know about, it is a good idea to suggest you know something that they don't and you're willing to share. If their profile states they've a huge fan of "folk music" and you're knowledgable and a fan as well try: "You should check out (insert folk artist here), I think you'd like them and I know a few other groups I could recommend". It's a great way to grab their attention and lead to future conversation.

Finally, keep humour to a minimum. As everyone knows when it comes to text or e-mails, the other person may not realize you're joking, especially if they're a complete stranger. Be respectful and write something special for the special person who caught your eye. Anyone can cut-and-paste message, and if the other person realizes you did this it tells them you're not even willing to make the effort to write something for them. If that happens, then don't expect them to take the time to write back. Also take the extra few seconds to re-read your message to catch spelling and grammar errors, it'll make you seem clever and shows you care.

Hopefully this helps you! Let me know what you think of my "how to write an irresistible first message".

-Josh

Different Types of Online Dating Services

I decided to do some research on the different types of online dating services available and found an awesome article done by the Online Dating Magazine. (www.onlinedatingmagazine.com) I discovered their are 5 different types of dating services out there and hopefully after reading this you'll be able to select the ones that match up with your goals.

1. General Online Dating Services: These provide you with the ability to view everyone that has posted a profile and is generally aimed at dating. (Match.com, Lavelife and FriendFinder)

2. Relationship Services: This service matches you with others based on compatibility testing and are generally for people who are more serious about a relationship or marriage. (eHarmony and Chemistry.com)

3. Social Network Services: They are free sites that allow you to build your base of friends and potentially find someone to date in the process. (MySpace, Friendster and Okrut)

4. Niche Dating Services: Aimed at bringing people together, to date, who share a specific common passion or desire. (Green Friends, Equestrian Cupid, Millionaire Match and Senior Match)

5. Merging Online Dating Services: Combine online dating with office applications. Allow people to post a profile then hand out specially printed cards to people you meet in everyday life who you're interested in. They can use the card to access your hidden profile to learn more about you. (Peek A Bio and Chick n Chit)

I definitely suggest you take a good look at which dating services will best allow you to meet your goals and then pursue them!

-Josh

Online Dating Safety

I have been recently thinking about the safety of online dating.  I've also realized that maybe it isn't such a good idea to add my photo to my profile, and tell people what school I am attending.  I might just be a bit paranoid but you never know who is looking at your information. Just think, you could be walking down the street and someone recognizes you from your profile.... If you have tons of information about yourself you automatically make yourself vulnerable to total strangers, while no longer having the internet to hide behind. So I have come to the conclusion that women on online dating sites should disclose as little information as possible.  I have also noticed that a lot of people have been really aggressive with moving things forward very fast.  Most individuals are not happy messaging back and forth on the dating site, but instead insist to carry conversations on through texting, msn, and/or personal email.  If you decline such communication methods, they will most likely move on to the next and you won't hear from them again.... well at least in my case.  I am realizing that I don't feel comfortable with the forwardness of online dating, and it just gives me a really uncomfortable feeling.  That's why I decided to focus my post on the safety of online dating.  Above is a little video that kind of touches on some points to keep in mind.  So online dating users, keep this in mind and be SAFE!!!

Does anyone else feel this way?  Do you think online dating is possibly dangerous?

-Dana

Pick Up Lines

I have yet to be the one to initiate conversation with someone on P.O.F, but I was thinking today that is I were to message someone what would I even say? So then I thought some more, and went through some of the messages I have received.  To sum all the different introductions I have received they are either:

• A short personal introduction, where they say who they are, what they like, and why they are messaging you.
• A novel, where they tell you their whole life story (the good, the bad, and EVEN the ugly)
• A statement about your looks, or
• A completely random one liner in hopes to grab your attention

Photo from: Textdating.com

So what method is best?  What do you guys think?  

I personally prefer a short personal introduction over the rest.... but still many people use the other three introductions so they must work to a certain extent.  

To the right is a poll with some examples of the one liners I have received.  I have excluded the inappropriate ones for the sake of keeping this blog clean.  Please choose the one you like the best.  They all gave me a little chuckle.  

Also I'd love to hear other people's experiences with this, so please leave a comment!

-Dana

Good Girls Still Exist?

So far into my online dating experience I'd say I've run into every type of girl but a "good girl".

By "good girl", I just mean someone who has or is working towards a post-secondary education, isn't a crazy/stalker, family oriented, has a good sense of humour and is a genuinely nice person. You wouldn't think that in the 21st century with the ability to connect and interact with millions of females, that it would be that difficult to find one. However, over the past few weeks, I haven't even seen one that I've had conversations with. For example I was chatting with this girl from Toronto recently and over the course of our conversation she became increasingly aggressive. She told me her cell phone number and wanted me to send her my number, and I declined until I knew her better. She ended up going on a rant that included her saying and I quote "Do you know who the **** I am and how much money my daddy makes". Needless to say that was the end of our conversation, as at that point I couldn't careless who she was or how much money her dad makes.

I'm left wondering where are all the "good girls" at? or are the majority of females online like this girl from T.O? Maybe my expectations are too high?

-Josh